Nafas




Breathing normally, antara nikmat dunia yang orang selalu lupa untuk syukuri.

Sampai ada one time I asked my friend " macam mana eh rasa boleh bernafas macam biasa?"

Because i forgot how does it feels. Duduk tak buat apa apa, sometimes i noticed i inhale twice in one shot, haha, it hard to describe the mechanism. It happens unconsciously.

Let me share one story, ni antara experiences of most severe shortness of breath  attack i had ever felt.
It was peaceful night.
I cough many times and it makes me felt a bit uncomfortable.
After i went back to sleep, I woke up suddenly, gasping for air!
Sampai terduduk automatically, reflex action.
Time tu serius rasa macam tercekik je, i dont know how to relieve it.
Gi dapur minum air, berdiri, jalan jalan, stooping down,
at last, i gave up.
I makes myself comfortably near the wall and just sitting there.
The feeling of "rasa ketat" tu sampai, i force myself to breath in and out, i felt dizzy and kebas feeling sensation over my brain. Yes my brain not my head haha.
I couldnt open my eyes and what i remembered, tears falling down my cheek. It was unbearable feeling. Rasanya almost an hour plus.
Penat sampai tak sedar bila tertidur.


The struggling to breath.
The struggling of the need to be compliant to medication yang rasanya Budesonide tu macam bau lipas, but you need to inhale it. I gave my groupmates to try it (puff outside and let them smell and inhale), they described it as rusty sensation.haha. I told them, dont be angry why your patients later on cannot compliance to it. Please understand.
Ventolin's taste is better, kinda of refreshing but i still feel nauseated.
Symbicort hmm, the taste is like fusion of bude (budesonide) and vent. haha but more towards ventolin sensation. tapi, part bila you need to inhale it rapidly,  you can feel "segumpal" particles touch your throat pastu rasa macam nak tersedak. hahaha. Can imagine huh?

The laziest part on earth, bila malam dah nak tidur, and baru teringat the 2nd dose belum ambil, and your symbi is outside the bedroom (padahal tak sampai semeter), and you choose to sleep instead.
muahaha.

How do i know i will get the sob (shortness of breath) episode?
Bila rasa nervous tiba tiba, my heartbeat getting faster, sweating, my voice changes to cartoon voice despite drink some water, pastu kena buat macam nak testing mic "ehem ehem" tu HAHAHA, and
i cough repetitively even tak ada stimulants, thennn i can feel it the chest tightness.

Part paling tak best ?
Bila part atas ni jadi, ventolin is not with me. Ibarat nak bayar tol cash walaupun dah tulis card only, pastu kakak tol ckp "tak boleh, TNG je"
Hahaha

Triggering factors ?
1.habuk/debu even nazihahamin suka mengemas rumah or sapu sampah. ahaha.its like kalau sampai nampak debu di balik sinaran mentari tu, i just tahan nafas all the way sambil menyapu.lol
2. stress, hmm ada orang cakap ni might be psychological effect, but any other external factors considered lah kan. not the small stress, tapi kalau stress tu betul betul stress. tapi record jugak lah exam long case haritu takde attack , well done lungs !
3. bulu haiwan yang berterbangan , so far i think it is cat fur, belum pernah lagi lah main dgn lion. baru masuk johanandhiscats dah rasa ketat belum pegang lagi. i loveeeeeeee (fat, cute, handsome,fluffy) cat ! haha
4.icecream or icedrinks, ni hmm sob juga tapi buat taktahu hahah sbb hellooo ice cream kot !
5. bau cat
6. molds
7. cigarrette smokes, haha ni effect pantas, rasa nak cepuk je mana mana lelaki smoking hembus depan anak bini, nak je ajak duduk ward tengok haa pakcik COPD yang nak bernafas pun hidup segan mati tak mahu, tidur sambil stooping sbb takleh nafas, pastu nak examine marah marah semua orang ahaha

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Struggling.
word ni tak pernah lari, semua orang pernah rasa, sedang lalui.
I do.
Kadang kadang rasa dia macam , haha nak describe pun tak boleh.
Tak kisah siapa siapa yang sama sama lalui " perjalanan" ni, moga kita jumpa kat R&R tu bertegurlah. Haha.
I know i cant forget things easily, even kalau orang tu bagitau birthday kucing dia pun, inshaAllah i can remember. (medical part tak pulak gini kikiki)
Hence, im trying to teach myself to differentiate things.
Recovery period masing masing berbeza, ada yang sehari, tapi macam tipu jugaklah tu mungkin dia menipu diri sendiri sampai diri dia pulak tahu yang sebenarnya dia yang tertipu gituu hahaha.

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Speak out whatever you want to tell to the world, 
as time passed were not sold;
"If miracles can happen" said my soul,
I wanna say I love you after Him and our beloved rasool. 
(22/08/16, NNMA)

Sayang,
zie.


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